Most psychologists agree that forgiveness does not imply forgetting,condoning,or excusing offenses,and forgiveness does not necessarily imply reconciliation,trust,or release from legal accountability. Instead, many psychologists contend that forgiveness involves a conscious decision while acknowledging the seriousness of the wrong-to release or forego bitterness and vengeance (e.g.,Enright,Freedman,& Rique,1998).Forgiveness is sometimes described as an altruistic gift (e.g.,Enrightetal.,1998; Smedes,1984;Worthington, 1998b),one given freely inspite of not being deserved by offenders.    When people get offended there are some positive and negative strategies that they can follow. We can say that forgiveness for positive and unforgiveness is for negative strategy.      Among the unforgiveness strategies people use are seeking retaliation or revenge, pursuing justice, seeking restitution, or demanding an apology (Worthington & Scherer, 2004). Some studies show that choosing unforgiveness is unhealthy for our body and mind health. Everett L. Worthington Jr. & Michael Scherer’s study shows that not to forgive is harmful for our heart condition. Also Everett L. Worthington Jr. & Michael Scherer propose 4 suggestion about health forgiveness and unforgiveness. The theories that they have suggested are: 1. Unforgiveness is very stressful.2. Coping mechanisms besides forgiveness can reduce unforgiveness. 3. Forgiveness reduces the stress of unforgiveness.4. Forgiveness as a coping strategy is related to health.    Worthington suggested that there are two kind of forgiveness. One of them is decisional forgiveness and other one is emotional forgiveness. When people decide to forgive there would be still some negative feelings against to the offenders. But when we forgive emotionally we use our sympathy, empathy, love and other neutral or positive feelings.    Within many religious system forgiveness is important topic to discuss. And those systems try to make people more peaceful and try to teach how to forgive.   Forgiveness is a core topic from the point of view human relationship.  If we forgive someone we do not suffer about our relationships also about our healths. Also some studies show that to be able to forgive someone due to their mistakes makes marriages last longer.

Author